We surrender
On a day like today
With the war on TV
I'm wrecked but hold onto the belief
That somewhere at the center of the package there is bravery
Jackie Robinson slides into home plate
Makes history and later
His home team gives up his home and Lewis & Clarks it out west
It's a taste that sticks
Like white powder on my partner's gums
I enjoy the moment.
Bravery & betrayal, all part of the package we bought into.

For now, black to blonde
A house painted blue
We'll go home soon
assume the position and
ponder the placement of the furniture
I'm a whore and you gave me a ring
one of your many mistakes you'll remember to re-call

But must we remember a portrait that is the shell of the painter
Can we not just pick and chose the moments we want to endure and nothing more?
My lucidity plays games on the ones we adore.
In their memory they know me as if yesterday was only a 24 hour trip back home.

A girl you saw on the internet haunts you
People haunt me too
(Jackie Robinson and those black cats of hatred)
But the haunting like the memory of a bad nightmare will soon be lost behind the smiling face of another girl (maybe the face I wear today or the one for tomorrow)
Last night I jumped through the window
Only a dream but in this corner of reality there is always some truth.
So maybe there was a soft fall, like down falling, or maybe it was a crash we'll pretend we don't hear and avoid.

This chill comes over me at night when I sleep
I pulled my friend from the toilet
Her legs dangled as she grabs the sides and gasps for air
Yet she smiles
This is a happy smile that somehow these moments under water
Set her free from some demon she had sought to hide from.
Yet I am there, playing the role of the unseen
How invisible I've become
Does evil lurk when skin illuminates on a summer night
It is over 90 degrees and I persist in refusing to turn the air conditioner on.

I've given up on things for you
Instead of giving up on you
And though I'll be nothing some day
Well at least I'll pay the bills

 

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